Caring for a mother who suffers from dementia was really hard. I wish I could do it again.
Caring for a mother who suffers from dementia was really hard. I wish I could do it again.
Modern Love in miniature, featuring five reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words.
A veterinarian told them that rabbits, under stress, tend to die quickly and easily. They hoped their rabbit — and their new love — would prove more resilient.
On this week’s Modern Love podcast, the actor and talk-show host tells the story of a woman’s doubly painful breakup.
Modern Love in miniature, featuring five reader-submitted stories of 100 words or fewer.
My eyes were too swollen for me to walk down the aisle. It wasn’t from crying.
The “Transparent” star tells a story of unexpected closure years after a divorce.
Modern Love in miniature, featuring five reader-submitted love stories of 100 words or fewer.
Stung by divorce, a high-earning professional tries to recast herself in the dating world as a woman in need of male protection.
Modern Love in miniature, featuring five reader-submitted stories of 100 words or fewer.
There is the often facile social media narrative of overcoming adversity in marriage. And then there is the reality.
On this week’s podcast, “The Sisters Brothers” star tells the story of a divorced dad’s desperate quest for a Yankees cap.
For the first Modern Love in miniature, we’re sharing your stories about life-changing burritos, unconventional arrangements, and other romantic gains and losses.
After enjoying an open relationship, a couple decides to tie the knot. Just one question: Why must marriage require sexual fidelity for life?
“The Good Place” star shares an essay about a couple’s attempt to revitalize their marriage with a $400 sex chair.
She hoped her new apartment would lead to a relationship within its walls, not a parade of hookups outside of them.
On this week’s podcast, the actor and singer tells the story of two childhood friends who search for fun and love in an oncology unit.
A former sperm donor, searching online, finds both offspring and love.
The “Predator” star tells the story of a remarkable childhood crush.
They were headed for a painful breakup. Then a stray dog wandered in.
The “Breaking Bad” and “Dear White People” actor reads an essay about a dying man’s final wish and a judge's compassionate decision.
We’re looking for all the emotion that’s fit to print — in 100 words or fewer.
Charcuterie, wine and all kinds of nourishment from a second family in Paris.
The actor shares an essay about animals and their endless capacity for love.
A culture of consent, one woman argues, should be less about self-protection and more about genuine care for the other person.
This week, the Modern Love podcast revisits powerful stories about love and illness.
Why do so many husbands feel the need to boast about completing simple household chores? With mine, it’s all about branding.
In a special episode, the Modern Love podcast reprises readings about the secrets we keep.
“You need money,” he said to her. “And I need you.”
The “Killing Eve” star shares a hot tip.
Can a relationship built on lies ultimately be good for you?
The actor and rapper, now in “Crazy Rich Asians,” tells a story about the often dismal online dating scene.
Two years earlier, she rejected the ambitious, Manhattan version of herself. After an ugly breakup, it was time to get her back.
This week on Modern Love: The Podcast, the “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” star tells the story of a woman who tests the limits of parental protectiveness.
“Where is your husband?” people kept asking. “Why isn’t he here?”
On this week’s podcast, the “Orange Is the New Black” actress tells a story of debit card fraud and self-knowledge.
While imprisoned for 14 years, a young Yemeni man learns about love from a fellow detainee — and an iguana.
The “Luke Cage” star recalls the heroic acts that partners routinely perform for each other on this week’s Modern Love podcast.
A life cut short is revealed through reward cards, drink coupons and arcade passes.
On this week’s podcast, the actress and comedian tells the story of a woman’s 2,650-mile road to recovery after her sexual assault.
After being assaulted in a park, a young woman sought refuge in marriage. When that didn’t work, she stepped into the ring.
The “Gotham” actor tells a story of how anonymity can become an addiction.
She hoped their platonic bond would always outshine romantic attraction. Then her friend got a crush on someone else.
On this week’s Modern Love podcast, the actress tells Rachel Monroe’s story of true love observed from afar (and up close).
On his deathbed, my husband shared some surprising burial instructions.
One’s a “bad co-sleeper,” the other has bad sponge etiquette. So they moved in together, sort of.
On this week’s Modern Love podcast, the actor tells a story of love and skillful parking.
She encouraged her husband to find new love after she was gone. A year later, he reflects on what her generosity has meant to him.
On this week’s Modern Love podcast, the star of “This Is Us” tells a story of love and balance.
Stung by romantic rejection, a woman finds acceptance and catharsis in a man who leaves her with bite marks and bruises.
On this week’s Modern Love podcast, Sarah Shahi reads the story of an immigrant parent who never shakes her anxieties from back home.
What happens when a transgender person, who fantasizes about having an androgynous body, falls for a straight man who loves female curves?
Last year, we asked readers to share miniature versions of their romantic histories. Here are some of our favorites, read by their authors.
A relationship between a young man and woman with similar illnesses presents unusual challenges. For starters, he can’t speak.
The actress tells the story of a woman whose romantic limits are defined by her vocabulary.
This week on Modern Love: The Podcast, the star of “Fear the Walking Dead” reads the story of a couple recovering from the repercussions of rehab.
Abandoned by her parents as a child, a woman finds an unlikely candidate to help fill the “mother-shaped hole” in her heart.
On this week’s Modern Love podcast, the “Disobedience” star tells the story of two women who must reconcile their love of God with their love for each other.
Marriage is long. Sometimes spouses stop listening to each other. Enter the virtual assistant.
A woman opens her heart to a relationship with a young immigrant from Colombia, despite the likelihood that it can’t last.
A newly married woman fears that her impulse to drink and keep it a secret will become a wall of deceit between her and her wife.
A young woman thought true love would have all the anxiety and insecurity of a romantic comedy. When it didn’t, that was even more worrisome.
A divorced woman seeking no-strings-attached liaisons learns a sobering lesson about men and marriage.
A young woman facing a health crisis decides to have sex for the first time, while fearing it may be her last time.
After three decades of monogamy, a woman starts seeing a man who embraces open relationships.
A young lawyer sidelined by a mystery ailment wishes he could plan a full and lasting life with the woman he loves.
Parents of children with potentially fatal allergies exist in a state of constant high alert, one that can unify them as a couple.
A young woman seeks answers to her sexual orientation online, where the endless quizzes she takes deliver whatever label she wants.
A month into widowhood, a young mother finds herself to be the sole protector of her children — and a trapped bird.
A teenager in distress turned to a famous novel with the hope of normalizing her situation. Instead, it provided a road map for escape.
For a Valentine’s date, they wanted to go to a bar and act as if they were strangers. Then she sat next to someone else.
A woman who had collected stories of others’ marriages and infidelities for years learns a powerful lesson that research alone could never teach.
She believed that loving a person would be a safer bet than investing in a cryptocurrency she could neither touch nor understand.
Saddled with a run-down house, a faltering marriage and a vanishing bank account, a woman takes to her two-wheeler.
How physical desire, fake flattery and a vanishing act can make casual sex anything but casual.
A teenager in a wheelchair forges an unlikely but enduring relationship with the young woman hired to care for his infant half brother.
On a subway platform, she shared a New Year’s Eve kiss with a man planning to be a priest. Could it go any further?
This year’s most-read Modern Love columns delivered unexpected kernels of wisdom.
As Christmas nears, a young woman hospitalized with pediatric leukemia basks in a new romance even as her health fails.
She was gravely ill. He had a job with health insurance. Nothing like tying the knot on the way to the hospital to make someone believe in love.
Nine years of therapy and one board game help a woman understand that love can’t be mastered through hard work and perfectionism.
An American stepmother feels like an outsider in the British family she joined. Driving the car pool in her bathrobe doesn’t help.
Sometimes we fall for a person, sometimes a place. For Jacqueline Woodson, it was disco-drenched New York, where anything, and everything, could happen.
Some of the youngest Modern Love contributors weigh in on the impact of writing and publishing their essays.
She fell in love with a married man. He told his wife he wanted to split up. How did they all end up as close friends?
The questions have led to countless unions. What can they do for pairs who know everything about each other?
A woman trying to get pregnant on her own finds connection and hope during a total solar eclipse.
Daniel Jones, the editor of Modern Love, takes a look at his teenager.
A family flees Iraq and eventually resettles in Indiana — all except for one, who remained halfway around the world.
We asked readers to share succinct summaries of their personal lives. Here are some of our favorites.
A woman is plunged into her tumultuous past when she gets a ride to the airport from a man intimately connected to her divorce.
A University of Chicago neuroscientist is studying how we may reap key rewards from being in love. And her most persuasive evidence may be herself.
Amelia, 5, lives with her Mama and Mimi in Switzerland, Skypes with her birth mother in Seattle and was a flower girl at her birth father’s wedding.
What happens when your wife wants to be “unmarried” but still together? Essential oils and trying to butter up a dog, for starters.
Figuring out her husband had Asperger’s meant everything would be fine between them, right? Not so fast, says Kristen Finch.
If you were given the chance to bring peace to the Middle East, would you also make that about you?
They met at a wedding. She had a husband. It was brief, fiery, and the memory lingers even if the specifics are a little hazy.
A memorable essay recounted a man’s chance encounter (and coffee date) with the wife of his wife’s lover. But what did she make of the meeting?
A cartoon strip on the signs one man is leaving for his wife. (One placard contains instructions concerning a wet towel.)
We set out to find couples in New York who would be willing to have their photo taken and to answer some personal questions. Here are 10 couples who agreed.
In one of the most provocative Modern Love columns, Ayelet Waldman dared tease out the nuances of romantic versus maternal love. Then Oprah got involved.
A playwright’s mother, modern and progressive in much of her life, still has a few old-school tics.
A closeted gay woman didn’t know how to have platonic love with a man. Decades later, she wishes she had been brave enough to try.
In a society that rewards marriage, a woman asks why the single life should have to be condemned, even by the Supreme Court, as one of loneliness.
After hooking up with a much younger man, a woman realizes she has been looking for love all wrong.
A man’s request for a prenuptial agreement roils an engagement, forcing his fiancée to confront her financial choices.
Rather than making a single, ceremonial commitment, unwedded couples must choose each other every day.
They loved each other and had a child together, but couldn’t make it work. Twenty years later, could their bond save his life?
He thought he had left his father’s machismo behind. But when it came time to propose, he didn’t think he was man enough to be anyone’s husband.
A patient with mania was told that nobody forms lasting friendships in a psychiatric hospital, but she adored her roommate too much to listen.
After her divorce, a mother and son who had been living by the rules of Orthodox Judaism decide to test (and taste) a new world of possibilities.
A Jamaican woman chafes at the reality that expressing affection for her wife can lead to confrontations with her fellow immigrants in New York.
After a 10-year-old girl tries to contact her recently deceased father by email, an unusual correspondence begins.
A woman comes to the conclusion that it’s not a lack of love that ends long-term relationships; it’s a lack of curiosity.
In adopting three foster children, a woman with a fraught past of her own makes “a decision to love.”
To entertain her hospital-bound friend, a divorced woman opens an online dating account so they can scroll through profiles of available men.
On one of the most consequential evenings of his life, a young man still finding himself wishes he had picked up the phone.
A spurned woman confronts the question: When you lose love, should you even try to get over it?
A writer and artist valued their creative independence too much to stay together. But they couldn’t stay away.
A woman discovers that in-person love is much more taxing than just holding up a phone.
After leaving a man she had feared, a woman finds solace in anonymity and separation.
They launched their relationship by answering 36 questions. To keep it going, they drew up a contract.
A young woman who finds herself being catcalled, followed and grabbed at wonders why some men seem to think a female body is public property.
When a couple routinely seek different pleasures, sometimes you need one spouse for travel and another for the everyday.
At her husband’s suggestion (and with the wisdom of Marie Kondo), a recovering slob discovers the sexiness of cleanliness.
This year’s standout stories focused on faith, gender, technology and, of course, love.
They met on Bumble and fell into a fun, one-night-a-week, nonexclusive routine — until she realized she liked him.
A woman who feels no sexual attraction without first establishing a deep emotional connection wonders if there is something wrong with her.
After spending years abroad trying to convert strangers, two Mormon missionaries realize how little they really knew each other.
When the person you’re trying to be on social media takes over the person you are in real life, it can be hard to break character.
The winning essay from our Modern Love College Essay Contest explores an unlikely romance between a transgender man and an immigrant Indian woman.
It’s unrealistic to expect your spouse to forever remain the same person you fell in love with.
A woman with a debilitating motor neuron disease finds hope in a man from a war-ravaged country.
A woman discovers surprising complications in navigating her male friendships after transitioning in midlife.
When a family tries to sweep tragedy under the rug, the damage is deep and lasting.
A hard-charging executive has trouble balancing the power of work with the intimacy of marriage.
After contracting a rare case of the mumps as an adult, a man receives bad news about his fertility.
A good mother does bad things on behalf of her bullied son. Should she feel triumphant or ashamed?
Readers respond to an essay by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, who, after learning she doesn’t have long to live, composed a dating profile for her husband.
After learning she doesn’t have long to live, a woman composes a dating profile for the man she will leave behind.
A writer seeking solitude in a small town finds himself developing a deep and unlikely bond with his elderly neighbor.
An animal shelter volunteer has a dim view of her fellow man, until she starts playing matchmaker for dogs and people.
He acknowledged he was gay and left his wife, but he kept returning home for their monthly ritual.
Two brothers and a sister credit a surprising source for their lifelong closeness: their parents’ ugly divorce.
After a painful breakup, a young woman finds healing in honesty — with both her former boyfriend and herself.
After a woman swipes right on a man with his own bakery, she falls for both him and his bread.
After a young woman’s troubled boyfriend disappears, she scrambles to preserve scraps of his existence.
Readers were split on a Modern Love writer’s resolution to seek the touch of strangers.
An aging woman’s dementia causes her to learn about her family all over again.
A single woman in need of physical connection pledged to attend a cuddle party.
For a sleep-disordered woman who works all night and sleeps all day, dating presents challenges.
They had been together for 12 months. She realized that she loved him. Should she say so?
A guide for having better relationships, culled from 2016’s most popular Modern Love columns.
An Atlanta mother who volunteers to help a refugee family discovers that the need, and the benefit, goes both ways.
Jilted by her longtime boyfriend, a woman considers trusting intuition over rationale. If only she could figure out what intuition is.
A young boy in Finland pretends he’s a woman on an online gaming website to get the attention of other players. Then the game changes.
A Christian woman’s identity is challenged by her love for church and another woman.
For an American woman falling in love with an Iraqi doctor in Syria, Arabic provides both a bridge and a source of frustration.
When her only child outgrows cuddling, a single mother realizes that her daily life is almost entirely without physical affection, or even touch, from anyone.
A woman with no maternal desire wrestles with the expectation that married couples should try to have children.
A young woman relies on carefully prepared images to present her relationship in the best light, until the picture no longer includes her.
A onetime advice columnist realizes that the more she learns about love, the less she seems to know.
In midlife, a man quickly forges a tight bond with a sister he never knew he had, until the presidential campaign threatens to pull them apart.
A brother and sister decide to come out to their 95-year-old Mennonite father in a pair of carefully written letters.
For a young mother with terminal cancer, questions about her own mortality merge with decisions about upholstery and cushion width.
When a 6-year-old boy wants to wear skirts and dresses to elementary school, his parents grapple with the reality that it’s about more than clothes.
The stresses of a man’s double lung transplant push his marriage to the brink.
When a box of formula arrives on the doorstep months after a miscarriage, it becomes clear that the virtual world didn’t get the pregnancy update.
An overnight bag becomes a token of hope, signifying someone waiting on the other end.
With parenthood dampening her romantic options, a woman changes her strategy.
A wife in India finds that feeding birds nourishes her relationship.
Four open-heart surgeries by age 15 had left a young man’s chest riddled with disfiguring scars. It’s kind of hard to explain that during a hookup.
While searching online for a local woman to date, a man finds himself falling instead for a Scrabble-playing stranger on the other side of the world.
Lost in the Amazon jungle, a newly married couple finds hope in fantasizing about the future (while clad in underwear and headlamps).
A woman who escaped the Cambodian genocide as a child hopes her mother can accept her for who she is now.
A shocking discovery following the loss of a sister becomes an unlikely source of solace.
After a twice-married woman realizes she doesn’t need a man to provide, protect or procreate, she finds herself seriously questioning their purpose.
Passionate conversation brought them together, but after seven years of marriage, they had nothing to say. What to do?
Their dreams of foreign adventure shelved by a dire diagnosis, a man and his wife decide, instead, to become parents.
After his marriage unravels, a man is left with a sleeping bag, two 150-pound pets and a lot to figure out about life and love.
When a neuroscience student gets dumped, she finds comfort (and an over-the-counter remedy) in her knowledge of the physiology of romantic rejection.
When two self-described tech geeks slide into a relationship that seems too easy, they design a monthlong trial to expose its flaws.
After her peaceful marriage quietly dissolves, a woman comes to appreciate the vitality of conflict and confrontation.
Dating, like insanity, is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome.
A gay father who chooses to be a stay-at-home parent has some issues with being celebrated on Mother’s Day.
When a shared account is all that’s left of a relationship, the connection can both comfort and annoy.
A surprising realization about her ex’s new girlfriend makes a writer question what it means to be a woman.
When a gay son brings his boyfriend home to meet his parents, it leads to a misunderstanding that lasts for decades.
After a casual encounter goes terribly wrong, a young woman retreats from love.
A widow contemplates letting go and holding on from behind the wheel of her husband’s vintage convertible.
The son of a gay father struggles with stereotypically masculine conversations and rituals.
As her own marriage crumbles, a sister plays matchmaker for her divorced younger brother.
An ex-soldier, rocked by infidelity, finds hope in a chance meeting with a mother and her young son.
For a young woman on the road, motorcycles meant autonomy and then togetherness.
A young woman learns about love and bravery from snakes, gorillas and cockroaches.
During a health crisis, a woman gains a new appreciation for the terms “husband” and “wife.”
On a trip to Singapore with his girlfriend, a man waffles over romantic commitment.
A daughter struggles to dispense with meaningful possessions after her mother’s death.
The promise of a romance was disrupted by a guy who seemed content to let his fingers do the talking.
How I reached another level of love and respect by allowing myself to be comfortable in a relationship.
Why can’t we replace trivial conversations with meaningful ones, and ask each other profound questions right from the start?
During a taxi ride home a co-worker makes a surprising request.
At 37, a lawyer half-heartedly attends yet another singles mixer and awaits the dreaded mingling. It was all so deliciously awful, she thought.
A visit from St. Nick nearly turns tragic.
An Italian-American man, 75, leaps across generational and technological chasms to find common ground with a Saudi Muslim woman nearly a half-century younger.
Was my fate truly predetermined? The astrologers in India seemed to know pretty well.
I wanted to support my husband as he pursued his dream career, but I couldn’t help feeling that his work and I were in competition.
An interviewer encourages a subject not to make the mistake she did and to run to his lost love before it’s too late.
A woman dives into the confusing vacuum created by an unanswered text.
A former florist shares lessons learned from work and a loss of her own.
A divorced mother fantasizes about a world in which her daughter has the love of two parents.
What a TED talk about Prego (and consumer choice) taught me about love.
For a single woman in New York and the guy who stands watch in her building, their special bond proves lasting.
Living a life where secondary abstinence isn’t exactly a first choice.
A writer senses a change in her divorced parents’ relationship. Her husband points to their wedding day.
A widowed novelist learns that when dating, it pays not to hold a grudge.
A recently divorced couple manages to have a happy family vacation.
Singlehood is now being celebrated as a legitimate lifestyle choice, but what if you just can’t find a way to be in a serious relationship?
Expressing disappointment at not having found love worth dying for.
Older adults have their own rules about marriage and cohabitation.
Though my ex-boyfriend tried, the only person who could save me from alcoholism was myself.
He said he didn’t like martinis, but she said to trust her. They went down like candy. They danced to the Bee Gees on the jukebox, and he kissed her.
With a partner battling depression and her own mental state teetering toward perpetual grumpiness, a woman takes it upon herself to introduce a new member into the family.
After a stranger on an international flight delivers the perfect kiss, a college student weighs the possibilities of romance.
They met at age 12. One was Serbian, the other Croatian. Separated by a civil war, they ultimately found their way back to each other.
When the writer receives the gift by mistake, her attempts to return it take on added significance because of a 25th wedding anniversary and a death.
A few of the things my newly married friends can look forward to: blame, rage and a desire to be home alone. And yet.
I aspired to always be my wife’s rescuer until, in our darkest moment, she rescued me.
When wanting to be with someone romantically has nothing to do with sex.
If living “freely” was necessary to prove my love for my boyfriend, I was happy to comply. But it wasn’t that simple.
Waiting for a big secret to be revealed provides ample time for insights into a relationship with a guarded parent.
I always felt ashamed of my quantitative deficiencies, just as I felt a need to apologize for my creative side.
Awakening to the truth that was always there after coming close to losing it all.
A young woman rejects her religious upbringing’s prohibition against premarital sex and discovers the aftermath isn’t exactly what she anticipated.
In an era when there is Tinder to find an attractive girl and Grindr to find an attractive boy, love and affection are more accessible than ever.
No more Twitter games. No more Instagram dissections. No more Facebook predation. I wanted someone mature.
The promise of Tinder meets the realities of hope and fear.
The winner of this year’s Modern Love college essay contest, a sophomore at Columbia University, writes about her generation’s reluctance to define relationships.
After decades of marriage, a wife and husband learn that their short separations allow them to be their better selves.
This offer was different, and not just because a house is obviously a big gift.
Consumed by Alzheimer’s disease, a grandmother invents a life and a family plays along.
I was free to make as many mistakes as I wanted. She lived within the confines of countless restrictions.
After an early romance, a series of chance encounters and an onslaught of mail, a suitor makes an unusual but clear-cut offer.
There is no good way to tell a new guy in your life that you’re going blind.
How a nighttime vision shaped lives and love one summer in Richmond, Va.
A medication leads to a hypersexualized wife, and a husband puffing to keep up. In time, the mismatch subsides, leaving them partners in a bigger way.
A mother’s project helps remind her daughter that life is worth living.
They have their own ways of showing their devotion.
The essay “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” which repeated a psychologist’s 20-year-old experiment, drew 8 million readers who found the combination of romance and science irresistible.
Grab a partner — friend, love or stranger — and get intimate with this free mobile app.
A closer look at the Modern Love column and its contributors.
We invited college students nationwide to open their hearts and laptops and write an essay that tells the truth about what love is like for them today.
When a simple gift becomes flowergate.
Coming out of hiding in Manila to risk falling in love.
When you collect an inheritance of table and chairs, you realize it’s to help you stay connected to friends.
A series of personal questions used by the psychologist Arthur Aron to explore the idea of fostering closeness through mutual vulnerability.
What happens if you decide that falling in love is not something that happens to you, but something that you do?
Before social media made it easy to find out about someone, I fell for a mysterious stranger I met via Craiglist.
He called me “mother” because I was his former priest. At 71, Ned was in love with a 28-year-old man. And the church was going nuts.
In a decade of columns, these are the ones that readers shared with the widest audiences.
Comparing your life with an old college roommate’s.
Crawling out from under the covers in time for Christmas.
I wanted to fulfill Houseboy’s fantasy, but he saw straight through me.
His sons want him to play, but housekeeping duties always seem to get in his way.
Released after two years in an Iranian cell, Joshua Fattal struggled to shed his prison-bound self.
Some first names are warning signs that say, “Watch out, here comes heartbreak.”
Love is not a product of waiting, of being patient, but is instead a rest stop, perhaps one of many, where we decide, for however long, to stay.
Two couples, friends, were trying to have a baby. One had the solution for both.
An unpredictable romance of two people separated by 14 years is interrupted by a growth — maybe cancer, maybe not.
A divorce court can yield a man who is well dressed and good-looking, and available, but then time passes and the carefree days slip away.
In matters of the heart, having a boyfriend who takes care of you is as important as the mending itself.
For six hours in the hospital, of all places, I was my true self and could enjoy the company of a woman.
A divorced mother finds an excuse to visit her sons’ father regularly, but she never stays.
An accident at 16 made him a paraplegic, and 24 years later, we were engaged, and I was terrified of losing him.
With him I wanted to be the fun girl. Then that all changed.
Her priority is taking care of their baby; the work that her husband does happens to involve sex with other women.
If we didn’t marry, even after decades together, we could still keep everything light.
Sometimes staying together is just about pragmatism.
He told me I was the one. What was it in me that couldn’t fully accept that?
The loss of our friends was a silent stowaway, riding atop our shoulders for a year; but then in writing a book about them, it opened up love, buoyant and uplifting.
Releasing expectations and assumptions as a mother and daughter move on.
Unlike my boyfriend, Derek promised he would treat me, and my stuff, with respect.
I’m not sure the doctor recognizes me, and he doesn’t know my name. I feel he’s fishing around in his imperfect memory, trying to place me.
At 21, a writer made a discovery that she feared would betray her beloved grandmother.
I had never doubted my fiancé or my love for him, or our three-year relationship. And yet here I was, preparing to say “I do” and terrified that I was about to make a big mistake.
Travails pull a family together for home improvements, on the surface and beneath.
I had loved and lost plenty of times, but I had never let myself feel it. I numbed up.
Becoming a father took me on an unpredictable and sometimes embarrassing journey.
Love doesn’t afford us the luxury of caring, or not caring, only about ourselves.
Anxiety and an odd imitation derail a couple’s experiment with role-playing and fantasy.
How one shortish, balding Jewish therapist led to another shortish, bald Jewish guy.
What happens when a husband is suddenly drawn to new, inhospitable terrain.
A couple, married for 28 years, considers an uncertain future because of the ravages of dementia.
Recovering from childhood sexual abuse, I followed a roundabout path to romance.
Her curiosity was piqued; she became a voyeur, wanting to know where the scar would be.
A boyfriend’s makeshift altar on the radiator cover prompts a search for answers.
I wanted most to spare my daughter the realization that there would always be a black hole in the center of our lives.
I spent an entire gestation not looking at Tom, hoping that he wouldn’t see me.
I was profoundly changed by what was to be my “adventure’ in the Tanzanian countryside.
His small act of kindness could not be forgotten, though the daily dust of the relationship had settled.
Having a disease that tried to kill me did away with our assumptions that the future looks just like the past.
When another person takes the place of a looking glass to reveal who you really are.
Tyler and I both changed since college. How could he be sure he didn’t love me if he didn’t know who I’d become?
When life was so unbelievably tenuous, we paid attention to what mattered.
The rules of romance (or romanz) do not have to agree with the rules of grammar.
She always vehemently insisted that I didn’t need to get married, didn’t need a man.
How couples deal with long-term relationships that inevitably grow short on excitement.
It was easy to forget that actresses were professional charmers with a vested interest in making journalists like them.
Having rejected God and a confining faith, I was alone and making up for lost time.
A ring can carry a promise, or sometimes something deeper.
Relationships are work, I realize, but so is being single, and I became pretty good at it.
Missed opportunities are not the events that define us.
Only in the absence of my love was I truly able to appreciate the depth of my feelings.
I wept for an awakening I had given up on, that around the corner I might love again.
Life partners need not be narrowly defined; they can be exes, children, best friends or lovers.
When crisis struck, my only friend in this foreign land did not even speak my language.
Left by his fiancée, a doctor rebuilds himself in the company of his patients.
A writer goes from being lesbian and not wanting children, to dating men and trying to conceive.
A dangerous flood reveals a couple’s strong connection.
It is so perilous to love people because eventually you will hurt them.
I had found a man who liked taking care of me yet I couldn’t accept his support, opting to lie awake nights crunching numbers in my head.
Becoming a widow and then a mother, in that order, isn’t how I pictured my 30-something life unfolding.
A child’s expression of admiration for her mother is food for thought.
We still played to win, but now we could feel joy for the other.
Not wanting to be like my mother, I let my college-age daughter and her boyfriend live with me without any rules. That was a mistake.
What astonished us was that the electricity we generated was as strong and compelling as love had been 50 years before, that it scrambled the brain every bit as much.
My husband, Chris, and I had made a clear agreement regarding child rearing. But reality played out very differently.
As I became involved with one young woman, I learned how profoundly the child welfare system could fail its teenagers.
Life lessons that only a four-footed friend can teach.
Two 20-somethings try an experiment to refrain from sex for almost a year, and find out more about themselves than they had expected.
Impatience had brought me to Jim; now it was time for me to practice the art of letting go.
She could rescue him from a dead-end life. But was that a good reason to marry him?
A screenwriter tries and fails to make an actual human girlfriend fit into a tempting cinematic trope.
A whirlwind courtship and marriage comes to an abrupt halt.
Working in the oil fields two weeks at a time isn’t conducive to a long-term relationship, but still men try, talking on their cellphones in their pickup trucks, and avoiding long goodbyes.
When I fell in love with Armando, whom I had hired to fix my deck, I was not the one who shared his history of escape.
My ex beat me so badly I could not eat, sleep or talk. But my recuperation had unexpected bright spots.
It started out as nothing serious, nothing permanent. We were there for the fun.
Forgiveness is a heavy-duty word.
A writer reflects on a relationship in which her boyfriend’s instant adulation eclipsed her doubts about how little they knew about each other.
Hypothetically, donating sperm so friends can have a baby is a simple decision.
So in addition to rings, our wedding was about sugar. And one less name by which we can refer to one another.
If I had to change — and it was clear that something had to give — I wanted to become someone who could love and be loved, for the long haul.
My mother fed me so well, there was no room for my wife’s cooking.
When a mantra no longer helps to put the pieces back together, time and patience do.
I wasn’t looking to chronicle my romantic escapades. I was clarifying my identity.
My parents agreed that I tied them together for the rest of their lives. Divorce and all, sex change and all, this would be a loving family of three.
Our relationship was not an obvious one, but neither of us liked the obvious.
What began as a crush evolved into that peculiar sort of adolescent friendship.
Single and 40, I met a man with a child I learned to love as my own. Breaking up was not what we had planned.
In 30 years of serial monogamy, dodging in and out of serious relationships, I have always planned for the end from the beginning.
Picking up on the signs of a relationship after being oblivious for so long.
After our divorce, we didn’t want to lose the friendship. We still helped each other through the hard times.
In a gratifying reversal of the conventional script, sex had turned into love.
A teenager who is drawn to adventure, except in matters of the heart, finds the silver lining in a terrifying accident.
The parameters for a Valentine’s Day gift seem to have narrowed, making choosing one for someone you love even more challenging.
Learning that whoever treated the tortoise with love and care was a keeper.
We’d been friends a long time, but it was entirely possible that we’d just guessed what the other person wanted to hear.
With few outside pressures, we had nothing to do but love each other and be happy.
Marriage-role terminology carried too much baggage of a history I didn’t want. Until my gay friends began using the words.
Years later, he would confess to having loved me all along. But while I stood waiting for him to happen to me, he was always looking for the next best thing.
I started starving myself in my teens. But when I met Hugh, I stopped thinking about what food would “do” to me.
She said she had picked us, in part, because she had read that lesbians have the longest wait for adoptions of all, and she wanted to right that wrong. How could we not love her?
I loved Christmas so much I had destroyed it; I had choked my precious Yule puppy to death.
Slowly, I adjusted my thinking. I asked myself, “What are the things in my power I can do to make him happy?”
My fantasy of being with the one I loved during a disaster came true during Hurricane Sandy — for a while.
When a marriage starts off without love and only good intentions.
After I got over my shock, my husband’s affair with a younger woman made a perverted sort of sense.
Overnight, I had become that most doting and caricatured of family figures: the gay uncle.
For as long as I remember, I’ve been fairly obsessed with spanking, an obsession that felt impossible to share.
Two teachers of conflict resolution navigate a marriage straddling the political left and right.
I couldn’t settle for a yes man, especially a yes man who didn’t appear to read. Could he change?
Wanting to change the world, a soldier leaves love behind.
The man I loved asked me to marry him. But first my house needed some work.
Dating for middle-aged singles may take more than the click of a mouse; it may take in-person matchmaking.
The competent voice of the GPS unit in our rental car was a delight for my husband, but I just wanted to throw her out.
He told me there was someone loving me all those years. Him.
My husband doesn’t object to my wandering eye, allowing me to explore the boundaries of our marriage.
Strangers often seem to carry important information about what is valuable in life, and this makes them incredibly alluring.
In a strange way, seeing-eye-to-eye with my husband about religion was making me feel very alone.
Some people have wondered if my dog is a wolf, but he is just a quivering, clumsy pet whose response to human troubles is always the same.
After a husband stopped drinking, a writer missed his playing Nick to her Nora Charles.
Everything around and within me is partly because of his fatherly advice, his example and even the fact that he could get impatient and stubborn.
We decided to open our daughter’s adoption by hiring a searcher to find the birth mother; we did it because we were told that she loved our daughter very much.
How my husband navigated his own dark lake of loss.
When a mother is a professional profiler and can’t help profiling her daughter’s boyfriends, and ends up being right.
Our shared surname seemed a valid reason to overthrow any and all objections, including our 13-year age difference.
In the world I had left behind, it was a sin to have heart. After years of tenure in that world, I was finally through.
I waited for my husband with his newly sober eyes to want me with the same abandon he once had.
Over the years, he explained, I had convinced him that he didn’t believe in marriage, either. And so we carried on.
A father watches his son take up the battle to legalize marriage for gay and lesbian couples in California.
After the demise of my friend’s long-term relationship, she enlisted a psychic in her search for answers.
My soon-to-be ex turned out to be one of the few people who shared my vision of a better, more connected future — with different partners.
After 25 years, some things become clearer in love.
Reorienting after ending an interracial relationship, a writer grapples with her singleness and her whiteness.
With my son, Joe, I wasn’t fearless. Quite the opposite, I was petrified by how much I loved him.
Feeling shame and needing to be alone, a rape victim walks — and walks — searching for peace.
Ours was a love affair that knew its finest hours on a screen.
Few men are thrilled by the idea of dating a woman with a child with a disability, particularly one as demanding as autism.
Like many people, the author tends to write a story in her head about the future of any relationship before it has even begun.
An Army wife, after years of objections, agrees to her husband’s wish to be deployed to Afghanistan.
What had I learned? Everything: what I wanted in a husband, a marriage, a life.
I had a crush on Mac. But I feared losing my big, ridiculously inexpensive New York apartment with a view.
The house where my wife had had a great time decorating — that house belonged to a life that was no longer mine.
The psychic’s predictions were three-for-three. But what about the most important one?
Leaving behind her hometown of Medicine Hat in Alberta, the writer took a job in Bangkok, where her wish for love was unexpectedly answered.
A child is born — against the odds — to Americans in a Muslim land.
My troubled mother gave me up. My adoptive parents fought hard to get me. I was an adult before I learned how lucky I had been.
When a philandering father gives him his wedding ring, a writer revels in its power and what it means for his own life.
When an ex-husband stays in the family, this time as a stepbrother, a writer tries to navigate shifting dynamics.
I’d spent the past couple of years applying myself to my marriage — thinking about marriage, reading about marriage, and trying forms of couples’ therapy.
The death of a spouse rewrites the rules of a family in ways I never could have imagined.
My boyfriend and I spent a happy Christmas together, and then he disappeared, without a word.
Travel offered freedom and meant never having to commit to just one thing, or to one person.
Inviting a child to enter our lives: would he accept? That is the question asked over and over at a fertility temple in Bhutan.
“You never know how quickly life can change,” the young mother told me.
During marital difficulties, a couple turns to dancing — and rhythm — to get back in sync.
After her father’s disinheritance, a daughter finds what her father didn’t mean to leave behind: the gift of clarity.
In my dating life, most of the men I’ve loved have weighed less than me.
I don’t miss my wife’s illness, but I miss how we talked. About love. About life.
Love today might not even follow the same format as real-life relationships of the past.
A woman learns how to embrace fears of her sexuality, much like her fear of snakes.
In the middle of a divorce after her husband’s affair with a woman who answered his ad on Craigslist, the author decides to post an ad of her own.
Sometimes the love stories worthy of poetry don’t make the romances of a lifetime.
A judge makes an exception and conducts a rush wedding for a couple of 38 years.
Among animals, a remarkable gesture of interest wins a mate. In humans, our most useful allure is resistance.
The Eeyore slippers, looking innocent enough, held the secret of happiness.
Detaching myself from my son’s marital problems let me find joy in the time I spend with my granddaughter.
He didn’t care that I was 39 and hadn’t had a serious boyfriend in eight years.
Putting a family back together when a stolen brother returns.
Being part of a whole does not mean giving up what you are.
In Shanghai, my boyfriend, a white American, looked like just another foreigner taking home an Asian woman — me — like a souvenir.
An essay on being a single mother.
He took the first step in becoming a woman: surgery to help his face look more feminine.
What blogging made possible, real-life concerns ended.
I felt kind of sick to my stomach, as if I had climbed through his bedroom window and stolen his journal from his dresser drawer.
On the third anniversary of my abortion, I found out via MySpace that my ex-boyfriend was having a baby with another woman. I felt a sense of ownership, of responsibility for the child’s well-being.
I hated that the absence of a wedding band might cause others to discount the level of our commitment.
A woman reflects on the life lived by her mother and the road ahead.
What happens when you’re forced to really look at a spouse.
A young woman’s first love opens the door to uncertainty about the future.
Giving up dress shoes, bookstores and a steady paycheck for unexpected connections to unexpected people.
He’s 77 and he keeps a binder — though he denies it — of his salvaged details and opinions.
He was a relentless tide of optimism. I knew better, yet I let myself hope, too.
Seeking familial acceptance in an interracial relationship, and finding boundaries to be prevalent.
A season among the petroglyphs makes a young man reconsider all those love-related text messages.
The ideal of love got lost in the mess of analyzing gender and identity.
Making sense of a courtship set amid 19th-century log cabins and pioneers — in 2008.
To my Indonesian immigrant parents, sex education involved instilling in me a deep fear of rape, jail, pregnancy, God and my mother.
College students’ entries in this year’s Modern Love essay contest reveal a shift to technology-enabled emotional intimacy. Here is the winning essay.
A surprising romantic connection laid out over the years and across the miles that linked one couple.
Where was the “nice boy” who would help me cross over into adulthood, into the world of rings and babies?
A grand wedding dress can stir up latent longings, even in a modest bride.
When she needs solace during a trying time, a woman heads for her mother’s couch.
When a good friend’s ex brings his lover to your spin class.
The 1,200 miles dividing two people takes its toll.
Because of the noticeable absence of men in my family, for years the men in my aunt’s VHS collection were the only men I knew.
We sought a certain romantic formality in what has become an informal and wholly nonromantic world.
He considered himself different from the rest of her fans; he felt he understood her better and wanted her more.
After having her own child, a woman looks for a wife to bear another, with the same donor sperm.
A sampling of intriguing tactics for locating love: familiar oldies that have been dusted off, and modernized, technology-driven alternatives.
Reaching an understanding was the challenge.
Two men, one name, and a vision of a romantic future together that changed in the process.
Ending the marriage freed us from our anger and disappointment.
A youthful mark turns out to be a good inoculation against atrophy.
A single 35-year-old virgin makes a visit to Planned Parenthood.
A mugging exposes the universality of trauma and the glorious imperfections of marriage.
A road trip to show off a new baby to the family at Christmas takes a detour as darkness falls.
A woman found herself going to a kabbalist rabbi for a blessing to marry.
Whether you’re in an affair or the victim of one, both experiences take a toll.
There are some benefits to splitting up, but just not enough to actually end your marriage.
In our wedding vows, we didn’t actually say for better or for worse, or discuss what we’d do when better became worse.
The worst thing about bedbugs isn’t the bugs themselves, or even the painful bites. It’s the isolating way others react when you give them the news.
A military wife keeps her fears to herself and lets her husband keep secret his stories of combat.
Falling in love with someone in the meditation room happens so often that some Buddhists have a name for it: the Vipassana Romance (V.R., for short).
While waiting for the doctor, we kept his body company with stories of the life-cycle events of a long marriage.
Sending my 11-year-old daughter off to school with her “newborn.”
He was 13 years my junior, and I worried that maybe I shouldn’t be playing this game with a heart that would never quite heal.
Knowing where to park is of paramount importance.
Being footloose in life can be costly in love.
A mother of a gravely ill toddler learns that parental love is layered on, with each layer a shield of denial.
At stake in the relationship were innocent creatures who knew nothing of people and people troubles.
A partner transitions genders and a relationship changes and breaks.
When everything went really wrong, a woman going through divorce reached for the sugary treats that made coping a bit easier.
A young woman learns that it’s a risk to love anyone.
A mother’s death changes the lives of two independent adults.
After years of sacrifice in pursuit of two tenured positions, an academic couple faces a “Romeo and Juliet”-like plot twist.
A tense mother and daughter-in-law relationship takes a surprising turn when they suddenly need each other.
She, a poet in vintage clothing, was everything I’d dreamed of but never knew existed.
She had just turned 40; he was 20. This was harder than learning to ride a motorcycle.
From one generation to the next, bonds that endure.
A television writer develops a show starring his girlfriend. But the network had a different idea.
A father’s message about family, responsibility and his own decisions seems clear, but his daughter’s understanding of it changes over time.
An ex-heroin addict and escort finds the perfect man. But should she marry him?
Nick Flynn always imagined that one day he would be a father, but mostly it was off his radar.
I was falling in love with him while matchmakers for a reality TV show were trying to find him a wife.
A daughter seeks her father’s true voice to replace the memory of the sound of his death.
An unconventional relationship, spanning oceans, continents and cultures.
The end of a relationship puts the future of a spirited, angry child at risk.
A wine writer’s relationship is over, but the medical insurance lingers on.
A choreography of nurturing that is both awkward and rewarding.
Jobless we were free — and blind to each other’s faults. Time would change that.
I wasn’t special. Surely marriage would change that.
My son was getting the brush-off from an alluring female he hoped to impress, and I wanted to share some hard-won male insight.
Disease could have turned Bob violent. He had it another way.
A family comes face to face with their secret second family.
In the prison visiting room, a fiancé finds brotherhood among other men whose wives are also incarcerated.
A couple’s divorce arrangement makes dating and moving on an awkward challenge.
A son learns to appreciate his difficult and troubled mother during her battle with Alzheimer’s, and after her passing.
A brokenhearted woman calls on a performance artist to get over a breakup.
After being branded by her family as cold, a woman finds out what a damaged heart is capable of.
A novice monk faces two different loves, and is torn between a heavenly and an earthly calling.
The editor of the series attempts to answer some of the prevalent questions about love he has observed Americans asking recently.
I was in love with a handsome man with whom I shared a love of books, and I wanted to view that as our singular experience. Yet this was not a simple love affair between two people.
Turner Syndrome leaves a woman infertile, and forces her to mourn the loss of expectations from family and friends.
A daughter comes to terms with the unease and silence that has followed her mother’s murder.
A wife reflects on the roles played in her marriage while pondering her husband’s epitaph.
Through my scheming search, I’d actually found love, and instead of me getting his flight benefits, he got mine.
What if my son came to love his father, only to lose him?
Once my mother welcomed a horse into her barn, a lifelong commitment began.
A man looks back on 35 years of marriage and how he and his wife have managed to stay married so long.
Were subtle clues in our relationship getting lost in translation?
How might a woman love the millstone I believed myself to be?
If I can snoop on my ex-girlfriend online, then why shouldn’t she be free to befriend my grandpa?
Grappling with a stricken father and his demons.
Amid anxiety, a family celebrates the wonders of military life with a wedding for a son going off to war.
A mission experience in Taiwan arouses an intense desire for human connections in a 22-year-old Mormon woman from the United States.
There are two kinds of madness: the kind that strikes suddenly, like a startled bird, and the kind that stalks silently for years, circling round and round until you are fully gathered in its dark wings. Mine was the latter.
After the death of her daughter, a mother risks her heart again by adopting another child.
A father answers his question on what he will do for his son who has special needs.
A couple wonders if a dog can really change the dynamic of their marriage.
A daughter studies the void in her parents' relationship.
Want someone to lick chocolate off your belly? You need a guy.
A woman makes room (lots of it) for a pack-rat husband.
A mother is in charge of every fragment of her deceased husband's life, and she's doing right by it.
For one couple, "wife" was a label that changed meaning in their house, as well as society.
My illness has a purpose, but I didn't know what it was.
A tale of startled dog bites man strengthens a couple's bond.
Facebook brings a woman's birth mother and her family just a keystroke away.
"I don't love you anymore," my husband said, but I survived the sucker punch.
A conflict with her daughter has a mother wondering how far can you go to help an adult child.
A father wonders why his son and father are such a pair, while he and his father seem like such a mismatch.
Sexually active at the golden age? Does kissing my husband goodnight count?
In an attempt to distract himself from emptiness, a man begins a one-sided love affair at the gym.
A father makes bumbling attempts at motherly things.
Some children are easy to love. Others require more of us.
Invest when we’re awash in debt? My husband says yes!
A practical arrangement can blossom into a full life.
A writer who is paid to write about love still considers it a big mystery.
A son still finds good in a stepfather who had questionable values, but made sure he had decent ones.
A man learns to deal with Asperger's syndrome, with the help of his wife.
Tom Waits's music cuts through years of turbulence and strain between a mother and her daughters.
He told me that he could not live without me, and that he would not stop telling me how he felt. And then he disappeared.
A transgender parent wonders what kind of men her sons will become.
The realism of a gritty TV program gives a couple joy in their last moments together.
A husband's need for complete control unexpectedly ignites his wife's fuse.
A man becomes emotionally attached and plays caregiver to his daughter’s dying fish.
A woman with regrets gets a second chance at a husband, home and a baby, in that order.
At a shooting party, lessons are learned about death and denial.
After being crippled in a car accident, a wife bobs peacefully, looking once again like every other person lolling in the sea.
A daughter remembers how trading fathers meant changing not only a parent, but also countries, accents, lives.
The most passionate thing I was ever a part of didn't involve me.
What happens when a marriage faces parole?
A daughter gets to know a country and a woman that have always been close to her, but that she never really knew.
A woman flies halfway around the world to have a drink with a stranger.
A bad boy with good intentions strives for honesty.
Freaks, geeks and finding love somewhere in between.
Someone you once dismissed as “yucky” in your childhood may, in fact, be the one.
For many, sex addiction is something to poke fun at, but for others it’s very real and far from a joking matter.
A woman finds support in strangers after she's diagnosed with breast cancer for a second time.
Jackie Onassis told me to never marry or mix your money. I took her point.
How can you tell when you start dating someone that you’ll end up spending more time with his mother than with him?
A wife wonders what to do when familiarity breeds a contempt for sex.
Romance, and backseat sex, in the time of buyouts.
It was hard to end our long-distance fantasy, even after I married.
When my daughter was born, it was the begining of the end of my marriage.
My transgender twin learns a lesson in sacrifice.
It was the family jewel, and I was about to give it away.
Graffiti Girl didn’t know my son the way I knew him, no matter what the bathroom wall proclaimed.
So maybe that love poem wasn’t his best approach.
How do you break up if there was never any commitment to start?
My husband's "mistress" has given notice. I'll miss her.
I cradled his head, his features peaceful, perfect, blank.
No Googling on the first date, please.
As a reporter, wasn't I safe from critiques? Not on the Web.
He was asking to be an adult, no matter how bad the consequences.
Gay and unmarried: the new unheard-of.
Unable to rule events, I vowed not to worry (or answer the door).
Some couples become swingers; we provoked the nut down the road.
A gift for my daughter brings up memories of childhood with my father.
I had a habit of getting a tattoo after a breakup, believing a tattoo was sexy because everyone could see that you opted for pain.
Would my daughter fall victim to our legacy of family anguish?
A gay and straight brother are each other's best friends.
An agnostic mother hopes a daughter's faith conquers depression.
"Sometimes we have to fight battles even when we don't want to."
Does your marriage need work? Hit the campaign trail.
My one slim shot at redemption: learn his hat size.
For my generation, casual is sexy, caring is creepy.
It's hard to lose yourself in the woods if you're scared of the dark.
I used the Internet as a means of communication with women I had already met offline in order to overcome my social awkwardness and forge romantic relationships.
Owen Powell, a runner-up in the Modern Love college essay contest, writes about his dreams of Natalie Portman, while serving in Iraq.
The mother of the bride, there in spirit.
The winner of the Modern Love College Essay contest writes a clear-eyed account of her generation’s often noncommittal dating scene.
I was surprised to hear he was a father. I was 28 then and had never dated a guy with a child. Also, he seemed like sort of a kid himself.
Over a French dinner, my partner, a doctor now, told me goodbye.
The sex chair was perfect terrain for my son's soldiers.
The day the coffee in bed went, so did my insatiable urges.
Part of what I love about him is his late wife.
She and I had not been alone together in more than 30 years.
I wanted to love someone who had my disease, and I did.
I had to be as alone as possible to know that we should be together.
Thinking of my perfect life with Sophie, my daughter, I couldn't marry.
My brother sobbed unconvincingly. "She broke up with me."
How many bipartisan couples did I know? Absolutely none.
Hopeful thoughts, for those of us wriggling in the muck of love.
Married, but still looking, sort of.
A DVD just can't satisfy a yearning for a previous lover.
Like a first love, Big Sur can make you feel small in its grasp.
Dating when you're bipolar.
In our closets, and our minds, the books, clothes and dreams.
A few years ago, my life was roadworthy but lonely.
Even an unfulfilled wish list is worth composing.
At the barber, I looked into the mirror and saw the end of an era.
Once a girl is made to feel dirty, it becomes her lot, in perpetuity.
The heart is the engineer, common sense just a passenger.
In our 20s, we thought only about the cost of not doing things.
Finding the child I put up for adoption led to a bonus: my grandchild.
Repressed feelings of love, fear and sadness about the father who almost was.
I suspected the worst: he was seeing someone else.
I wanted the best for a 2-year-old, but even more, I wanted her.
An older woman taught a lesson very different from what I expected.
He was uneasy with beliefs worn on the sleeve, or in my case, on my head.
Two sets of parents and an East-West emotional divide.
The man who once wanted me to have his baby now hangs from hooks. My fault?
I had given up on loving my stepchildren, or their loving.
A moment of pure glee, which happens before everything changes.
I asked the Internet, When do you tell dear baby “I love you”?
I didn’t want hugs or cards after my divorce, and thanks to the hurricane, I got none.
Cancer lets you cut to the chase; time together means more now.
Closer than sisters, we always said. And then, suddenly, it ended.
“This is Anthony. The guy who was your sperm donor. Strange isn’t it?”
As my boyfriend and his wife await divorce, four of us share one roof.
My husband and I moved to Mexico to break into international reporting, but a bigger decision lay ahead.
My therapist dubbed me the Needless Wonder for my doormat ways. So I decided to take some action.
Being of sound mind and broken foot, I used terms my husband grasped.
I even posted it on Craigslist, looking for a little humor in my plight.
When Dad wasn’t dating a divorcee, he was with me, his lonely daughter.
He wasn’t good at making money and I was. As a couple we were a whole.
China confronts a foreign temptress.
Sometimes you fail to realize how things fit until it’s too late.
Frank seems confident that if he waits long enough, my wife will be his again.
How would we manage her care? Yet how could we leave her behind?
I thought my gay ex and I had closure: a rabbi knew better.
For helping me jump back into romance, I helped him match wine and women.
A meeting with the birth mother provides answers, and also some questions.
Lights out on the romantic glow.
Two-dimensional fatherhood doesn’t do. Flat Daddy wasn’t fooling anyone and neither was I.
The story began when I was 5 years old and the F.B.I. came for my father.
He’s gay. She was undeterred. He’s still gay.
Their split was not like today’s rational affairs. It began and ended with a butcher knife.
A heart that just wasn’t in it.
In a multiple birth, a troubling calculation of the odds.
A mating dance, between car and curb.
I had tried to take care of my boyfriends. I never imagined one would take care of me.
As the editor of the modern love column, Daniel Jones finds one common thread: Wisdom about love is sorely lacking.
She could be my daughter, and we’re having too much fun.
How does a child who spends her early life glued to your hip suddenly turn into a person who seems convinced that you were put on earth simply to frustrate her ambitions and dreams?
A mystery wrapped in an 8 1/2-year-old boy.
Putting emotion under house arrest.
“I have no interest in cancer,” my husband said, “even if it has an interest in me.”
Being just a bell ring away won’t do for a guilt-wielding mother.
Burning a card, burying a raw deal in marriage.
If my friends heard my story from a man, would they so easily absolve him?
You get obsessively vigilant when you realize having a baby is not just up to you.
Intimacy we struggled for in my childhood seemed to vanish with his ashes.
Pledging much more than his heart.
As Hezbollah and Israel battled, my fight for freedom seemed pointless.
In the tricky surf of a May-December match, the “best summer ever.”
An Irish boyfriend competes with the tug of letters from my Jewish great-grandmother.
Is the risk of a milk bomb on a flight really that great?
Maternal yearnings, paternal misgivings.
What wears a tuxedo and breathes fire? Groomzilla.
“When I'm with you,” he said, “I feel incredibly alive, and yet always terrible.”
Now, we live like monks: herbal tea after dinner, the endless seltzer.
The storm season tapered off, and with no more tender moments to hold us together, our relationship crumbled.
If race doesn't matter, it should.
Events of the day entangled many of us in an emotional lost and found.
An older dad wonders: dentures before baby teeth? “I began my great late-in-life adventure with a whimper and a crawl.”
Sex, the antidote to death.
I can be my husband's nurse, but I can't be his jailer.
In she walked, a flattering, dirty-blonde asking me for painkillers. I had been warned: Addicts can be creative, ruthless and even seductive.
I should have told him right then to run, to flee, to find another class.
Put "Catholic" and "gay wedding" together, and you get an extravaganza of rituals.
Is that cute avatar checking out my avatar? My virtual heart leaps.
The morning I turned 18, I was told I was going blind. I would give anything to tell you what my wife looks like, but I can't. A real blind love, the literal kind, is a giving over of consciousness.
I wanted — needed — to nudge my husband a little closer to perfect.
How I mutated from Gandhi Girl to Army Wife.
In 12-step confessional style, this is what love addiction did to my life: I dropped out of college, quit my job, stopped talking to my family and friends and contemplated suicide.
An unmarried Jewish woman makes an offering to Santa Rita in a Roman Catholic cathedral in Italy.
I couldn't let my parents arrange my Indian marriage from Indiana. I would have to find my own suitable boy. Or perhaps even an unsuitable one.
I was the girl with a framed photo of Gloria Steinem on her bedroom wall, beside a photo of a young Frank Sinatra.
The part of me that wanted to die simply crawled off into the woods and never came back.
I have often joked to friends that I married my husband for his sense of direction. And since I met him, the scope of my travels has expanded greatly.
I had come to Bangladesh to try to clean the slate of past relationships. Now I was pursuing the most unlikely possible romance.
I'm a stripper with a delectable boyfriend and a rock 'n' roll band. I should be having more sex than anyone.
The dog and I fell in love, as humans tend to do with their dogs, and we were the ones who became inseparable.
I'VE had five husbands. Four were mine; one was someone else's. I would not recommend going the borrowed husband route, but I will admit it was interesting. And instructive. My borrowed husband (B.H.) had many things going for him. One was a lot...
I had a cowboy once. It wasn't like Ennis and Jack, more like Roy and Dale. But it was still hard for me to quit him.
Our house was gone, but we were alive, and our love for each other the love of a married couple who had put up with each other for 20 years would survive.
In that breakup I felt like I lost my husband, best friend, father and brother all at once. And I didn't just lose him I banished him.
I think everyone will see things my way if I just explain them properly. So I keep explaining. I keep talking.
I liked the idea of being someone's someone else. I didn't like the idea that that someone had a girlfriend.
My daughter was a Beatles fan by the time she was five, and she had already fallen for John.
It's O.K. to fall deeply for one loser after another. It's O.K. to show up at a guy's house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection.
As the editor of this column, sifting through the tales of love, sex, dating and marriage, I offer the following thoughts on the oft-tortured state of modern love.
The bracing truth is that he was living larger than I was, in my place. Everything felt chaotic and alien.
My mother’s madness seeped in so quietly that my father was able to ignore it, believing that it would get better on its own.
He wore gray turtleneck sweaters and smelled like mint aftershave and old books. He reminded me of my father, but his intentions were hardly paternal.
Roy wanted me to know that he and my father weren't just a couple of guys boozing it up out on the boat.
Like Ginger Rogers I danced out of the theater with an airy, lightheaded feeling. It was like renewable virginity.
In the continuing case of Full-Time Homemaker vs. Working Mother, I offer myself as Exhibit A.
Watching my father's illness progress was watching him move inward to some secret, native core.
One of those children up for adoption was mine. My kid, misplaced somehow, and determined to find her way home.
For a selfless surrogate mother, the heartbreak that came from leaving was a surprise.
Little has been written about the time when parents are supposed to cut back on the physical contact with their children.
After months of contemplating breaking up with her boyfriend, the author finally ended the relationship using a PowerPoint presentation.
At 14, our son spiraled out of control. We looked into having him taken away to a wilderness program that would help him.
There was no guarantee an open adoption would get us a baby any faster than a closed or foreign adoption, but we decided to try to do it anyway.
Though I know I cede my power the minute I get in a car, I feel we're driving on my terms because they're taking me where I want to go.
She wouldn't tell him she still loved him in spite of everything. Did I dare disturb the universe and interfere?
I think I like young guys, especially guys in their 20's, because, at heart, I am a guy in my 20's.
Would Julie and I ever have gotten together if I hadn't been a drowning alcoholic in need of her outstretched hand?
When I started to read my nanny's online diary, our entire relationship unraveled.
Dancing a few steps in a beautified gymnasium is the least I could do to thank the girls who helped me become who I am.
My father died from alcoholism, and we're all be survivors of some kind. All I know is he was capable of doing great damage.
For a mother, libido, as she once knew it, is gone, replaced by all-consuming maternal desire. Except, that is, for me.
For a mother, libido, as she once knew it, is gone, replaced by all-consuming maternal desire. Except, that is, for me.
"There's not going to be a wedding," the groom's mother said. She laughed. Then she stopped laughing.
A self-described emotional exhibitionist, this blogger found herself reaping all of the consequences of a blogging relationship but none of the benefits.
How can a spurned lover make his case? One writer counts the ways.